Can't believe....

Dear Mike,

I fucking hate you! I wasted my entire summer with you. I didn't spend time with hardly any of my friends. I'll never get that time back. They're moving away and who knows if I'll see them again. I can't believe I wasted two years of my life. I'll never get that back.

Love HATE,
Chelsea

Oh, Life...

Dear Life,

Please uncomplicate yourself.

Thanks!
-Chelsea

Feeling Stuck.

To Whom it May Concern,

I need to get the hell out of this town, asap.
*deep breath*
19 days...

Sincerely,
Feeling Stuck.

I wish.

Dear Mike,

I wish you could just hold me. I'm so scared. I never wanted this. Who would? Just please, don't be like him. Don't leave me. I need someone to stand by me.

Yours Truly,
Chelsea

It's official.

Dear James,

I wish I never met you.

Sincerely,
Chelsea

What have you done?

Dear James,

Look what you did to me? I told you I'd never forget you. Now, there's no possible way I can. I have to live with this for the rest of my life, and it is all your fault. You saved my life once. And now, you've destroyed everything.

Love Hate Always,
Chelsea

You save me again.

Dear James,

Once again, your words impact me more than you know.

"The hardest part isn't figuring out who you need to be, it's being content with who you are."

Granted, it's from the Ataris. But I'd never had heard that if you hadn't told me. How do you always know the perfect things to say?

Love Always,
Chelsea

You saved my life.

Dear James,

I constantly find your words on repeat in my head. You always gave the best advice. And even though things between us always end in the worst possible ways, you were still a friend when nobody else was. You helped me through some very difficult times, even if it always seemed you were only doing it to benefit you. Regardless, you still made a strong, lasting impact on my life. As little as we talk now, you still affect me everyday. Your words enter my mind at the strangest times, giving me the strength I need at times. "Life is for the living" is probably the best advice you've ever given me. And "17 Ways to Keep from Drowning Without Learning to Swim" saved my life, and I will keep it for the rest of my life for any hard times I face. You have no idea how much that music helped me. Without that mix, I'm not sure what would have happened to me. As much as I hate to admit it, you saved my life. I am eternally in your debt. But if I'm being completely honest with you, I will always hate you in a way. There was a point in time when I felt like I was falling for you, and I know you knew that. But instead of saving my from heartache, you'd use me to your benefit and toss me aside. I hated it. Then, when it suited you, you'd come back with your charming words and sweet apologies. I'd always forgive you. I guess that makes me naive and stupid. You always found a way to get to me. I guess you always will, which I find completely ridiculous. It's not like we were that involved with each other. But I guess I honestly believed that I'd be the one to change you, to make you believe again. I was so confident that everyone falls for me that I thought I'd be the exception in your life. The one girl that got you to lose the risky lifestyle and settle down. Silly me. You're content in your world, and I'm not special enough to make you change your entire life. As much as I'd love to believe I'm as amazing as you always said I was when the other boys left me, the way you handled our relationship simply proved you were a liar. I wanted to believe in your words so badly, but when a boy says "It's his loss. You're so amazing." yet won't give you consideration, what are you supposed to believe? If I'm so amazing, how come I never got you? Well, I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. You've got your life, I've got mine. And from now on, we'll only live in each other's memories. I suppose it's better that way.

Love Always,
Chelsea

Strangers, to say the least.

Dear Boy,

You are insightful. Intelligent. Proper. You seem understanding. Friendly. Helpful. Our interactions have been limited, but I find you most intriguing. I'm not sure what this means, but my interest in you is undeniable. Perhaps this will turn into something more than just a casual acquaintanceship. I barely even know you're name. I'm so forgetful.

Sincerely,
That girl.

All the same.

Dear Joe,

I miss you so much it hurts. I guess I still can't believe that it's really over. You flew out of my life just as fast as you flew into it. I guess I thought we'd make it. I know summer's away are hard. I know long-distance is complicated. I know you have your own life to attend to, and it's just so easy to forget about other things. Out of sight, out of mind. I get it. I just thought you really felt something for me, like I did for you. I guess I was mistaken. And honestly, I guess this is all my fault. I pushed too hard for you to jump into this. We should have just hung out as friends and waited until we got back to school. I suggested that, but you told me no. You told me you wanted to do this. I believed you. Again, I guess I was mistaken. Do you want to know what hurts the most? The fact that I was dumb enough to start falling for you. You gave me an escape from a life I had been stuck in. I was in an emotional rut, nearing depression. I saw you as a way out, a savior of sorts. I guess I should have told you. I thought you were here to save me. I guess not. So, maybe this is all my fault. I made you be something, do something, live something you're just not. I made us out to be something we weren't meant to be. It's not that you walked away. It's that I set it up to hurt if you did. Typical me, attaching so fast. I saw this coming, but you swore you were different. But I guess it doesn't matter who it is, it's all the same.

Love Always & Never,
Chelsea